IIT Madras: Freshers guide to Cycling

A few days back, when i was depositing my hostel fees at CCW office, i was amused by the sight of a family purchasing a cycle for their dear boy who made it to this place. Uncleji showed off his expertise in purchasing cycles without getting tricked. He first gave the seat a powerful punch, then banged its front wheel on the ground, making it do a couple of re-bounds . Then he attempted to produce the tune of 'kambakht ishq' using the metallic bell. He was also quizzing the cycle salesman about some finer points of warranty, rim, wheel, tyre-tube etc etc.

Then he lifted the rear wheel and started pedalling, holding the cycle. He braked then pedalled then braked and then pedalled. After checking the vibrations of the rear wheel through this stand-at-one-place pedalling, some weird ideas struck him. He was soon astride, cycled a little bit.....sped up and attempted a bunny hop. Gravity did not really like the ambitiousness of the old bones, and he gave a loving kiss to the mother earth. The cycle salesman, was finally jolted to his senses and ran out to save the cycle. He was totally mortified, stupefied, terrified, petrified by the display that he had seen untill now. The cycle had escaped unscathed, uncleji did not. I moved out of the place quickly, lest i am asked directions to insti hospital and stuff.

In my freshie year, i bought the cheapest cycle on the block, a BSA SLR, plain and straight. And it turned out to be the best cycle under insti conditions. Light and durable i did long jurneys on it, including one to mahabs. Irrespective of all the claims that BSA junta makes, they fail to turn up for the repairs that they promise to do after 50 days. Most of the cycles that insti junta buy from them get rusted, dented, broken within first few months only. Heavier the cycle sooner it deteriorates under insti conditions. Plus, we people of the new hostels, have no luxury of cycle stands. Quality issues apart, insti cycles divorce you very quickly. They really do not like the idea of carrying around one ass only, so frequently change their partners.

Mine did so during my first Saarang. I had left it outside my hostel, and next morning it was gone. Soon after ravi was also divorced, his break-up happened outside CLT. I got hold of another second hand one for 400 bucks and repairs cost 350 more. This one also got pissed off really soon and left me after two weeks, once again from outside CLT. Now i decided we have to change our ways a little bit. So, i decided to kult one. Night 2 a.m. -4 a.m. were my favourite times to go out searching for good alternatives. Guards are usually sleeping and they do not notice you carrying away a locked cycle. Other better alternative is to just take the cycles kept in hostel quadrangle or Jamuna cycle shed (They are not properly chained). Keep it with you and cut the lock using a filer or hacksaw blade (filer is better). Sometimes, if the person has used a chain then a wrench works the best. Or simply you can ask the cycle shop guy next to Jamuna to do the services. He usually charges 6 rupees to break any kind of lock. Taramani guy is a little smart, and he would charge you 15 bucks, with a cunning smile on his face. Also his services are sometimes not safe since he takes down the frame number of the cycle.

I had a SLR once again, untill this one also gave me a divorce shortly before the end-sems. Then for next one year i went around without a cycle, and everything was going about fine. Last semester i was offered a used cycle, belonging to a passout Msc. guy, i quickly accepted the offer. But given the bad shape that cycle is in, it will cost me decent money to get it running once again (The dilemma is same that country has faced with its solitary aircraft carrier INS Viraat). And given current cash shortages, i don't hope to do it any soon.

Lessons for the freshies..
1) DO not buy cycles from GCU vendor ...EVER.
2) Get the lightest or kuntrymax cycles ..they work the best.....not the fancy geared ones.
3) Get kulting fundaes from you seniors...ASAP.
4) If your cycle gets lost...there is no point in complaining......just get (read kult) another one.....its all part of insti culture..and your stay here is incomplete without a cycle story of your own.




P.S.: For non-IIT junta:
Kult= the rightful taking and carrying away of the personal goods or property of another.
CCW = Chairman of all hostel wardens...hostel fees is deposited at his office.
GCU = Guidance and Counselling Unit. (A committee where all the sadistic raggers are collected and given the responsibility of acting like loving mothers to the freshers)
CLT = Central Lecture Theatre ( A place meant for everything other than a lecture)